How to Develop a Growth Mindset
The concept of growth mindset was a trending topic in education this year, so perhaps you’ve seen this phrase before. But what does it really mean? And how relevant is it to our lives?
Growth mindset is a term that was coined by psychologist Carol Dweck in her 2006 book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. In this book, Dweck outlines two distinct mentalities that “fuel our behavior and predict our success”: fixed mindset, which hinges on the belief that intelligence is static, and growth mindset, which is powered by the idea that intelligence can be developed.
The fixed mindset assumes that everyone is born with an unchangeable amount of intelligence and that “success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence...” The fixed mindset is stunting because it suggests that we’re relatively powerless to change the circumstances we’re given or that come our way.
Growth mindset, on the other hand, places the power in the hands of the individual. It accepts that we can become smarter, wiser, and more skilled people through earnest effort and meaningful learning experiences.
So how can you encourage growth mindset in your home?
Counter destructive thought patterns
It doesn’t always seem to make sense why certain thoughts pop into our heads when they do. You could be happily preparing dinner when, suddenly, you find yourself analyzing why that job interview from three weeks ago went wrong.
When a negative thought surfaces, we may assume it won’t affect others or ourselves adversely, as long as it remains in our mind under lock and key. But the truth is that negative thoughts can cause just as much or more harm as negative spoken words or actions.
To rewire our brains beneficially, psychologists recommend that we “counter” negative thoughts as soon as we notice them. This process often involves putting the situation into context (i.e. avoiding generalizations) to remind ourselves of the bigger picture.
Imagine, for instance, that you drop a mug of coffee on your carpet. You immediately beat yourself up, thinking, “Why am I so clumsy?” In this case, the negative thought could be reformulated to, “That was clumsy of me, but it’s just one mistake. I’ll be more careful next time.” An accident should not be interpreted as an indication of one’s flaws.
Here are some other examples of negative thoughts and how they can be reworked to get you and your family thinking positively:
“This is not my day,” becomes, “I’ve had a few setbacks today, but I know the rest of the day will go well.”
“I’m terrible at this,” becomes, “With some more practice, I’ll get better at this.”
At first, countering thoughts in this way can feel awkward, but keep it up anyway. Over time, it will improve your mood and increase your ability to respond productively to challenges.
Set a positive example
Creating a healthy atmosphere at home starts with you. If you exude positivity and open-mindedness, your students will absorb that energy.
Odette Umali, founder of Gordon Parenting, observes that “Children pick up on their parents’ moods more easily than you might think. When kids see that their parents are stressed, tired, angry, upset or irritated, they can’t help but experience that negative energy as well.”
The Urban Child Institute confirms this sentiment: “Our children are mirrors, reflecting images of what happens around them… The behavior and habits children are exposed to at an early age can become behaviors and habits they carry into adulthood.” Setting a tone of positivity is up to you.
Create solutions out of grievances
In the same way you counter your own thoughts, you can counter your children’s. Below are some utterances you might hear from your children, along with how you can respond productively:
“I failed my math test. I stink at math,” becomes, “Maybe it’s just that your study approach needs some adjusting. How did you prepare for the test?”
“I’ll never get into my target school with these SAT scores,” becomes, “Let’s create an SAT study plan together.”
When your children complain, the key is to not let the problem remain a problem. Sure, it’s alright to let your children vent for a bit, but your interaction shouldn’t end with the venting.
Afterwards, you want to get your children thinking about solutions. Ask them, “What can you do about the situation? What changes would you need to make so that the problem goes away?” Training your children to think this way will set them up for a more successful adulthood.
Let your kids decide
As a parent, it can bring great joy to imagine your children following in your footsteps. You may get excited seeing traits in your child that you or your parents have, so you make comments like, “You certainly got the science gene,” or, “You’d do great in medical school, just like your mom.”
While these remarks are intended to flatter, they put unhealthy pressure on children to fulfill our notions of who they are or should become. According to the growth mindset, we should not allow others’ preconceived notions or desires to dictate our paths. Rather, we should create our own paths, based on what brings us fulfillment, and encourage our children to do the same.
Tiffany Sorensen holds a Master of Science in Spanish-English Translation from New York University. She works remotely from sunny Mexico, where she gives English and Spanish classes, writes educational articles, and designs practice tests for the ACT.