The Sometimes Rocky Road to Upskilling—How to Manage Family, School, and Work
Juggling is tough. It was tough before COVID-19 upended our lives, and it’s even tougher as we enter what feels like month #573 of this pandemic. But as we re-calibrate and find a new normal, many adults are seeing decreased commute time and fewer extracurriculars as an opportunity to pursue professional development.
Before you apply for a PMP, MBA, or certificate program, think about how you’ll balance the impact on your household. Gone are the days of all-nighters and chugging sugar-free Red Bulls to get by. Adult learning requires a new level of focus and a sharp ability to manage time. Add in work, school (for you and your kids), family, and that road to upskilling starts to look a little rocky.
I don’t claim to be an expert, but as a military veteran spouse who’s lived through deployments, nine moves, two degrees for my husband (now halfway through another), all while juggling my own full-time career and entrepreneurial pursuits, I’ve learned a few things. Did I mention that we also have kiddos of the furry and non-furry variety, as well? (Are you tired yet? I am.)
To help, I offer three pieces of advice to anyone trying to do it all:
1. Manage your expectations
If you’ve decided that now is the time to pursue a graduate degree or professional certification (Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management lays out several reasons to consider this path), get honest about your expectations.
In the spring, many universities moved to pass/fail grading to support students during an unconventional semester. But as schools return to traditional grading systems this fall, think about your end goal. Unless you’ve got scholarship dollars riding on a 4.0 GPA, a 3.0 and 10-15 hours of “free” time back to you each week may be acceptable. Case in point: I couldn’t tell you what my husband’s GPA was last semester, but I do remember that he did bath and bedtime for our three-year-old son at least three nights each week—often after sitting for 10 hours of Zoom lectures or after working 8+ hours at his day job.
2. Create a schedule and communicate it
For those who are single without children (whether furry or non-furry), it can be challenging to juggle school, work, and home. But add small humans, fur babies, and a partner, and the complexities are just that—complex.
To address those complexities, speak with your partner and develop (or negotiate) a schedule. Who’s watching the kids, walking the dog, and making dinner (or ordering takeout)? What happens when you both have meetings that you can’t miss? Agree that a little extra screen time isn’t going to rot your child’s brain, and if Anna and Elsa will prevent your three-year-old from flushing LEGOs down the toilet when you’re not looking, that’s probably a reasonable trade-off.
From a literal bandwidth perspective, it helps to know when optimal connectivity will be needed. Three-hour online exams might not be the best time for a streaming marathon of Frozen and Frozen II. (Or, if you live in our house with a future Dave Grohl, it’s jam sessions during your partner’s corporate finance final.) While it’s not realistic to vacate for every school session, knowing when finals are allows your partner to create field trips to Civil War battlefields or apple orchards.
3. Prioritize self-care
We’ve all heard it on planes—put on your oxygen mask before assisting others. And the flight attendant is right. You need to take care of yourself before you can be good to anyone else. COVID-19 has complicated life in so many ways, and in our efforts to simply survive, we’re struggling with work-life balance more than ever.
Self-care doesn’t have to be a large-scale effort (i.e. a week-long beach vacation). On the contrary, smaller regular investments can lead to far greater dividends. In our house, it’s Sunday Fun Day. The ground rules are simple—no work, no school, just family. The day starts with chocolate chip pancakes and our three-year-old dictates the rest. We’ve gone hunting for ghosts in foggy forests, chased birds along the Potomac, and eaten ice cream sandwiches for lunch. The only rule is family.
Maybe an entire day isn’t realistic for you. Start with a few hours. And maybe it’s not family time, because, let’s face it, COVID-19 has forced far more family togetherness than many might find relaxing. It doesn’t matter what you do, but find something that brings you joy. For me, I pound miles of pavement before the world wakes up. For my husband, it’s a jam session on the piano. But find time—even if it’s 20 minutes a day—to just breathe. I promise, it’ll do your brain wonders. And if you have trouble unplugging, there are plenty of apps like Headspace and Calm that can help you start a self-care practice.
Lastly, remember a little gratitude goes a long way. It’s a lonely road when the world has gone to bed and you’re working until 2:00 a.m. on group projects. And even though there’s only one name on that diploma and a solo walk across that graduation stage, the accomplishment truly is a family affair. So say thank you, and say it often. I promise it never gets old. And it might just get you a bowl of your favorite shrimp peanut noodles during finals week. Your family is your biggest fan club, and like everything we’ve learned from COVID-19, we’re all in this together.
Originally a Missouri native, Joanna Graham relocated to Washington, D.C. to attend Georgetown University and never looked back. She has been helping students prepare for standardized tests for more than 17 years and truly believes in the transformative power of education. When not living and breathing the SAT, ACT, GMAT, and GRE, she supports military families and women in sport. She serves on the Board of Directors for Team Red, White and Blue, a veterans service organization that integrates veterans in their communities through physical and social activities and works with the Pat Tillman Foundation and Dog Tag Bakery. She also serves on the IRONMAN Women for Tri Board, which is focused on increasing the number of women in triathlon, and serves on the Board of Governors at her alma mater. She is a military veteran spouse, an accomplished ultrarunner and Ironman triathlete and proud mom of one fur-kid and one non-furry kid.