How Can You Respond to Students’ Complaints About Homework?

It's completely normal for students to grumble about their homework, projects, and tests. In fact, complaining is a natural human behavior, and one that is being extensively studied in psychology. 

Expressing dissatisfaction can be therapeutic, and, if done in a sensitive, tasteful manner, it can even lead to positive change. Consider, for instance, how a chef who receives complaints about a dish might be moved to improve its ingredients or mode of preparation.  

The factors that cause your child to complain about school are obviously much different from those that would aggravate a person who’s dining out. However, you may be surprised to learn that your child, like an upset restaurant guest, probably does not complain just for the sake of it. In many cases, they may subconsciously hope that you respond by assisting in some way—but we’ll come back to this point later.      

As you may know, academic complaints come in many different forms, with the most common protests being about workload, assignment difficulty, and unclear instructions.

Regardless of the type of complaints you tend to receive from your kids, the question remains the same: how should you react when your child comes to you with their academic grievances? 

“I have too much homework.” 

Some parents feel that “teachers [are] handing out more assignments than ever...” However, it’s not entirely clear whether this observation is based on the perceived frequency and nature of children’s complaints or on the actual volume of assignments that children are given. 

Diane Garfield, an elementary school teacher in San Francisco, would maintain that it’s the actual volume of assignments. Garfield stated, “I believe that we’re stressing children out.” And according to one parent, “Teachers nowadays assign these almost college-level projects with requirements that make my mouth fall open with disbelief.” 

On the other hand, senior social scientist Brian Gill alleges, “There is no evidence that kids are doing more homework than they did before.” Such contradictory opinions make it difficult to assess whether there’s any truth to the commonly accepted belief that kids’ homework loads are increasing over time.

In any case, it’s essential for parents to ponder the following—when children grumble about being assigned excessive amounts of homework, the issue may really be that:

• They aren’t managing their time effectively enough to complete all their assignments. 

• They’re struggling to keep up because the course is too hard for them. 

If you suspect the first is the reason, spend a day or two observing your child’s after-school routine. Notice how much time they spend playing video games or talking to friends, for instance, and whether they consequently run out of time for homework. 

Should you find the real issue is poor time management, the easiest fix is to work with your child to create an after-school schedule, which should be printed and placed in plain sight as a constant reminder. It’s also recommended that you set alarms, so your child knows when it’s time to switch activities. 

If you suspect the second explanation is the cause of this complaint, your first order of business is to try to determine why the course is too challenging. One possibility to consider is that your child has a learning disorder. If you believe a learning disorder may be at play, get in touch with administrators at your child’s school, who will then provide what’s known as a “comprehensive educational evaluation.” Your child’s school will then notify you about the test results and what your options are. 

Another possibility, especially in the case of high schoolers, is that your child took on more responsibility than they could handle. Perhaps your child ambitiously enrolled in an AP, IB, or honors course when a regular-track course would have been more suitable for their needs. 

In this case, try to have a candid conversation with your teenager, who is likely to appreciate that you are asking to hear their perspective. Requesting a three-way conference with the course instructor may also prove helpful, as teachers can usually provide valuable insight as to why a student is struggling.

“I don’t understand the assignment.”

“I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.” Most parents have heard some variation of this complaint, which can be particularly stressful when you’re not an expert on the subject matter. You may wonder, for instance, “How can I help my daughter with her calculus homework when I’ve never taken calculus myself?”

Not understanding assignment instructions is a frequent complaint made by students, especially ones who take advanced-level courses. While some teachers use a portion of class time to explain the homework, others may assume that students will either understand or should investigate to get answers.  

When your child expresses their confusion over instructions, avoid saying things that will further agitate them. Comments like, “This is lost on me,” or, “I can’t be expected to know this,” will convey an unwillingness to help, which can make your child feel worse. 

Instead, include yourself in your statements and show enthusiasm by responding with, “Let’s do some research on this together,” or, “Let’s find out how your classmates are approaching it.” This tone will express that you don’t mind pitching in to find a solution, and that alone will bring your child some relief. 

When it comes to this complaint, having contacts is key. Always encourage your child to gather a few classmates’ email addresses and/or phone numbers for times when this issue may come up. 

Having the instructor’s contact information is valuable, as well. Nonetheless, an instructor may not be available or willing to answer questions at odd hours or when an assignment deadline is extremely near. On the other hand, instructors are generally happy to clarify assignment expectations when students approach them in a timely and polite manner.

Tiffany Sorensen holds a Master of Science in Spanish-English Translation from New York University. She works remotely from sunny Mexico, where she gives English and Spanish classes, writes educational articles, and designs practice tests for the ACT.